Waiting in the Wings
First published April 1st 2015
Second edition after professional edit published on 10.09.2015
E-book ISBN: 9781311442109
Paperback 1st edition ISBN: 9781508957874
Paperback second edition ISBN: 978-1-329-59051-9 available at Lulu.com
For twenty years almost every conversation Sara had with Henry had been lazed with insults to her intelligence, looks and desires. Her only protection, the walls she erected around her heart and soul, making them impenetrable not just to Henry’s insults, but to everything that might get close. Leaving her incapable of trust or love, scared of letting anyone get close.
She should have walked away, should have taken the children when they were still young and walked away with them. When they were still innocent and too young to understand what Henry said about her in front of them, before his insults could have reached them. She never had.
When Henry suddenly dies on the operation table, freeing her from twenty years of marriage, Sara return home, numb from shock and the impact his death will have on her life.
Only when she calls, Benjamin, close friend to Henry and herself, and her first lover, something inside her breaks. Only with Benjamin had she ever shared her sorrows, her dreams and desires. With him she had been able to pretend that there were no walls around her heart, that she was able to feel, to love and to trust, at least him. When in reality she could do neither.
When she tells him about Henry’s death and he offers to come to her and help her, she realizes what a big mistake she made. By sharing and talking as if was still the woman that was in love with him, she had given him hope of something she could never give again. Scared that he might act on that hope, she cuts all ties, even those of friendship with him. Telling him to never contact her again.
During the day’s after Henry’s death, Sara slowly comes to terms what her newly gained freedom means, what doors it opens, and how her future might be. All the things she could do, like build her dream home, share openly her fortune, and never having to hide her income from her children again. However she also has lost. Twenty years of protecting her heart and soul have left her unable to show emotions, to connect to another person on an emotional level. Any kind of physical contact, even something simple as a hug, a gesture of comfort, made her uncomfortable.
Her career as an author put her in the view of the public, yet in any other aspect of her life, she had hidden from the world. Hidden how damaged, how fundamentally changed she was. She had used Henry as a shield, as an excuse to keep her distance, using the rumors of his treatment of her to hide.
On the day of Henry’s funeral, Sara closes the chapter of her life, which has cost her so much. Walking towards a future that would be vastly different from the last twenty years. There would never again be a man in her life, never again would she permit herself to love. Never again would she hide the money she made with her books, no longer did she need to fear Henry spending it all on crazy ideas.
And she knows where she will begin her new future. With tearing down her old house, building the one she had always dreamed of having.
She is so excited to tell her children, to show them the blue prints that she hardly notices the unmarked letter she finds on returning from the funeral. Seeing it as nothing more than a fan letter, she puts it aside and forgets about.
When a few weeks later she moves into an apartment in town during the build of her new house, she doesn’t know how much her life is about to change again. How the walls protecting her heart and soul are in danger of being torn down.
When Benjamin suddenly shows up, having moved into the apartment next to her, wanting her back in his life. In addition more unmarked letters appear, their message filled with innuendo. Sara’s life spins out of control and she has no idea in what danger she is. That the day she might die or maybe find her hearts desire is close..
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